A day that every girl looks forward to with unuttered anticipation.

A day that every guy dreads with reluctant hesitation.

There is no other day in the year when expectations are piled so high upon a guy that he can barely see the sunset above him, if he manages to make it through the day’s experiences. It’s not a day when a guy can rest easy in the comfort of his relationship with a girl, because having been together longer only means that more is expected of him. And after the first year or two of Valentine’s Days and birthdays, how is a guy supposed to keep churning out the fresh ideas?

He’s supposed to turn to me for help. And since I’ve no lady to work this magic on (yet), I’ll be happy to lavish my wisdom upon you.

1. Do not assume that money is the defining factor. You can take her to the nicest place in town but if you’re not thinking about ways to really wow her, you’ve wasted your bread.

2. Give her something that doesn’t have a price tag. Arts and crafts may not necessarily be the way to go (do not make macaroni art. You make her macaroni art and we’re going to have a problem), but if you can capture a special moment, you’re in the golden club, friend.

3. Use the power of words. It’s not about the length or even the poetry of it, but a guy who can tell a girl what he’s really feeling will find himself on the receiving end of the kiss of his lifetime. (Of course, if all you can express is that you want the kiss, it might be best to keep your mouth shut – because she’ll be doing the same!)

4. Steal a line from one of her favorite love stories. Lame? Maybe. But she’ll either laugh or become putty in your hands, both of which can be good for you. (Do not take any lines from a Ben Affleck movie…start with Jerry Maguire and go from there.)

I understand that these suggestions are somewhat vague. That’s because I’m looking to use my ideas for myself one day and publicizing them is not the smartest thing to do. (And trust me, my ideas are worthy of their own sitcom.) But with these steps as guidelines to planning the perfect night for your lady, you’ll be on your way to making Valentine’s memories in no time.

And remember, you can email your relationship questions to thefavoroflove@yahoo.com to have them answered here or at our new website, www.leeclarion.com!