Third wheeling in a two-wheel world
Being single on a college campus is like watching a romantic comedy without Paul Rudd; something just feels off.
According to the first number that popped in my head, 107 percent of college students are in a relationship. If you do the math right that means only negative seven percent of the college population is single.
Even though everyone seems to believe that being in a relationship is the fourth survival need, right along with food, water and shelter, there are some perks that come with living a single life. Let's discuss a few.
As college students, our lives are busy enough as it is, with classes, jobs, homework and feeding our Netflix addictions. Just thinking about trying to work a healthy romantic relationship into that schedule makes me feel like I need a nap.
As a single student, there's no guilt over not having the time for date night every week. You also don't have to waste your precious Netflix time by pretending to like the ridiculous programs your significant other enjoys.
To be fair, you do need to include the time single people use crying in the shower at the prospect of being forever alone in this equation, but even so there is no doubt that being single is a time saver.
Let's not even get caught up with who pays for the dates or the gas to pick whomever up. The fact is, relationships can drain your finances just with the number of gifts you're obligated to buy your significant other.
There are about 471 holidays that require a gift exchange between partners, and some couples celebrate every 2 and a half hours of being together by exchanging gifts.
But life is full of give and take, so just like with time, there are some possible drawbacks to all this money saving.
Being single forces you to swallow your pride a bit when you look at Facebook during the holidays and see all of your couple friends celebrating on fancy/cute dates. Then, you look at your surroundings, see all of the candy wrappers on your floor, and realize that it's 8 p.m. and you forgot to shower that day.
I have never been sentenced to life in prison, but I would guess that the sensation is not unlike how you feel the night before meeting your boyfriend's/girlfriend's family. The dreaded meet-and-greet is an experience that will undoubtedly be filled with snap-judgments, passive-aggressive comments and anxiety-filled moments where you convince yourself that the decision to place your cup on either the coffee table or the side-table could be the difference between creating a mortal enemy or a best-friend-forever.
All of our families are a little crazy, and dealing with one crazy family is a big enough task to ask of anyone. Being in a relationship doubles the amount of loud cousins, overprotective mothers and overdramatic sisters in your life. I'll pass.
Remember all of that give-and-take stuff I mentioned earlier? Ignore that, because there is no downside to avoiding 'meeting the family.'
So, what have we learned today? Relationships can be great, but they suck up your time, burn through your wallet and subject you to conversations with eccentric family members who may be better off avoiding public places. Take heart, single people. At least we can watch our TV shows in peace.